English signs in foreign countries--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES
ARE REQUESTED
NOT TO HAVE
CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
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At a Budapest zoo:
"PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO
THE GUARD ON DUTY."
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Doctors' office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST
IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."
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Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP
YOUR TROUSERS HERE
FOR THE BEST RESULTS."
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In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS
WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES
RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
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On an Indian river highway:
"TAKE NOTICE -
WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,
THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."
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In a City restaurant:
"OPEN
SEVEN DAYS A WEEK
AND WEEKENDS."
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A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT
ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."
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In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED
FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY,
BUT THEIR OWN,GRAVES."
>------------------------------------------------------------------
Tokyo hotel's rules ad regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED
NOT TO SMOKE
OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED."
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On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES
LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."
In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS
FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF
UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE
IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT
THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS,
ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN
ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE
THAT PEOPLE OF
DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN,
LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER
FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY
OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
IN
THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT
THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
ttp://www.nidokidos.org"> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
ttp://www.nidokidos.org">
ttp://www.nidokidos.org">
ttp://www.nidokidos.org">In the window on a Swedish furrier:
"FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN."
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."
In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES,
LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE
AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
